Apologies if I write a lot about this subject, but Stag and Hen weekends seem to have taken over my life lately.
Matt and I have spent the last 3 weekends apart due to these occasions and as I write he is currently away in Greece on another stag weekend.
But I’m not sad, fed up or annoyed about the fact that we aren’t spending time together. After all, we both know each other’s plans for the year and knew that our Summer was packed with hens, stags, weddings, birthdays, BBQ’s..the list goes on. And it’s not like we need to be joined at the hip all the time 😉 it’s good and healthy to have lives outside each other.
No, what I’m sad, fed up and annoyed about, is the difference in weekend’s we seem to have and in all honesty I’m jealous!
As far as I’m aware Stag and Hen Night’s/Weekends have been around for generations. However what was once a simple night at the pub, with friends, the night before the wedding, now seems to be an elaborate weekend of travelling and entertainment, seeing who can have the best/most outrageous/most decadent weekend there is.
Oh no wait…that would be the men! Stag do’s seem to be getting bigger and bigger as we speak, whereas personally I feel like the hen weekend is getting smaller.
As I say this is just my personal opinion and you may totally disagree with me, but in my experience I am yet to go abroad or do anything elaborate for a hen party. Yet our men, happily spend a lot of money and leave us behind for a long weekend minimum, to go abroad, for their friends. After discussing this with different groups of girlfriends, all us ladies seem to feel the same way.
I have been with Matt nearly 5 years and in that time he has been on MANY Stag do’s. Weirdly, we actually met while he was on a stag weekend in Bournemouth! But that’s another story. And apart from that weekend in Bournemouth, I can’t remember the last time he stayed in the UK for a Stag. He has travelled to most European cities for them and this year he has already been to Iceland, Marbella (Spain) and is now currently in Greece.
He’s not the only one I have to base my (can I call it research) on 😉 I work with a group of guys (I’m the only girl) and again over the past couple of years all of them have been on stag do’s and all in Europe. Whenever I mention a hen do, as soon as I say it’s in the UK, they switch off, they think it’s boring.
While they have all been sunning it up in Marbs, clubbing in Ibiza, gambling in Vegas or drinking steins in Germany. I have been battling the British Elements, while doing Go Ape in Nottingham, gone on a ‘normal’ night out in Bournemouth (where I grew up) or sat and ate chips on Brighton Beach.
Don’t get me wrong I have enjoyed my weekends with my favourite ladies, I wouldn’t have gone on them otherwise. But I just don’t think they are on the same par as the boys weekends. Am I being too miserable about this or ungrateful? I appreciate I do a lot of fun things that other people will never get the chance to do. But, I guess we live in this society where we always want more or are always competing with the next person. And personally, I just want something that little bit better.
I guess I only have myself or my friends haha to blame 😉 But personally I just feel that girls are more considerate about their friends/family and think about all possibilities to ensure that everyone can make their special weekend. I’m sure secretly behind closed doors they would have loved to have gone to a sunny beach in the med and been served cocktails by the pool. But instead, because so and so is pregnant or just had a baby or just brought a house and so is being careful with money. We will just stick to somewhere local instead. This happened to me with the Bournemouth hen do I went on recently. Originally the Bride to Be wanted it to be in Brighton, over the bank holiday weekend, for 3 nights. But once we started to get costs together, some of the ladies started to say it was too expensive for them and would drop out. Because of this the Bride to Be decided to keep it local and more low key so everyone could make it, it was also half the price of Brighton!
But I just don’t think boys work or think like this. As soon as they get engaged, all their friends want to know about is the stag do! Weird and wonderful countries get mentioned, fancy dress gets brought and before they know it they’ve spent £700 each before they’ve even gotten anywhere. You only need to watch Don’t Tell the Bride (One of my favourite programmes) to see what really goes on in their minds! Matt actually got invited on a stag do to Las Vegas later this year, but he has politely declined. Costs just seemed to spiral out of control quickly and the Stag was making crazy requests such as VIP tables at night, pool parties by day and even debating upgrading flights. Many of his friends have dropped out but he doesn’t seem to care as HE is still getting the stag do HE wants. I just don’t think a girl would do or act like this, well none that I know.
Having said all that, sometimes I wish us girls would be a little more like the boys!
I’m not even engaged, but I have already told all my girlfriends that, when the time comes, my hen do will be abroad. But they have already mentioned their concerns, ‘I’m saving for a house’, ‘what if I have a baby?’, ‘I doubt I can afford it’. I’M NOT EVEN ENGAGED. Boy’s would never think of these things, they would never even consider them.
Of course I’m not saying act like a diva, ditch all your friends and run off to Vegas to max out your credit cards, for your next hen do. Or am I 😉 No, all I’m saying is do what you want to do, if that is just a night in Brighton, then of course that’s fine. Do whatever makes you happy. But if it is secretly that weekend to Marbs or a fancy spa hotel in the countryside, then tell your friends, give them lots of time to plan and save and work out the logistics and then just go for it. After all you only live once! and hopefully will only get married once! So this is your time to have fun and let lose with your best girlfriends.
So here’s to the next Hen weekend, whatever it may be, I just hope it’s fun! 🙂
Love, Chloe xxx
P.s Matt just sent me this picture of his view in Greece
and this is me on a hen do last weekend